Blog Prompt #5 (2/27)

Let’s start thinking about the Mid-Semester portfolio. Go through the drafts of the first two papers and note my comments. What comments or topics seem to come up more than once? What do you plan to do to revise your drafts based on my comments? How else do you plan to revise your drafts beyond my comments?

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10 comments for “Blog Prompt #5 (2/27)

  1. Alex
    February 20, 2019 at 2:45 pm

    Many coal miners who work in West Virginia refused to approve two sections of the contract offered by management. They maintain the sections covering wages and safety represent no improvement over their present contract, which expires on Friday at midnight.
    The senator and her husband, who was sitting next to her on the speaker’s platform, both looked calm as they waited for the mayor to finish the introductions. Then the mayor, turning to look directly at the senator, shocked both the audience and the listeners on the platform.
    Combine the groups of sentences into single sentences by embedding some of the ideas as modifiers (both adverbial an adjectival). You may have to make some other changes in the wording.
    Fingerprints have been used for criminal identification since 189 which the computer has revolutionized the storage and retrieval of fingerprints that a police officer in Argentina introduced the method.
    The highest incidence of colon cancer in the United States occurs in the Northeast, which the Northeast also has the highest levels of acid rain which is why cancer researchers suspect that there is a causal link between the two.
    Influenza, or flu, is a viral infection that begins as an upper respiratory infection and then spreads to other parts of the body which causes aches and pains in the joints.

  2. Alex
    February 25, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    The comments that seems to come up the most in the first draft is that I need to provide more details and provide more examples. I plan adding more to my paper and making longer in order to help me out with the second analysis. Of course, I will provide more examples and more details in the first analysis. In the second analysis I need to explain why the corrected sentences are better. The length on the analysis 2 also needs to improve upon and lengthen. I think I will give a bigger and example revise a whole paragraph just to make the paragraph that much better.    

  3. Karl Fornes
    February 26, 2019 at 5:20 pm

    Hi Everyone. The schedule indicates that you should have read chapter 11 for class on February 27, but that is incorrect. We will use class to begin reviewing for the test and revising the mid-semester portfolio. In that spirit, please indicate in your reply what you want to start reviewing for the fist exam.

  4. Aostin
    February 26, 2019 at 9:10 pm

    Majority of the comments on my paper seems to be that I need to explain why more in my paragraphs. That being said, I plan to edit the paragraphs and explain more by providing more details. Another thing I’ll add is the source that I got my article from. I realized that I never wrote it in the paper. I do think that I should add more details to the paragraphs. I also need to correct the sentence patterns because a lot of them were wrong. I will also analyze the sentences properly which was one of the requirements.

    • Cedia Vicks
      February 28, 2019 at 11:42 pm

      This was something that I struggled with as well. Especially in my first paper, I seen a lot of why’s on my paper. Just like you, I have to learn what needs to be elaborated more and what doesn’t. 

  5. Shayn Price
    February 26, 2019 at 10:19 pm

    In analysis one the main comments were to focus more on the audience of the papers and to fix the thesis. I also had to fix some small grammar errors and split some paragraphs where necessary. In analysis two there are only a few things wrong like a grammar error and taking out a sentence. There weren’t that many recurring errors in either paper. 

  6. Shianne Huffman
    February 27, 2019 at 6:38 am

    I need to spend more time comparing the sentences and discussing why I choose the certain sentence. I will do this by breaking down each sentence more by the words being used. The conjunctions are used to help the focus transition through the sentence. 
    Today in class, I would like to go over direct objects and indirect objects for the Exam review. 

  7. Jordan Fraser
    February 27, 2019 at 11:08 am

    In the first assignment, it looks like I mainly need to elaborate on some ideas or find a way to make them more concise. The second assignment brought more confusion about active vs. passive voice so I’d like to spend more time discussing that today in class. 

  8. Hailey Stamper
    February 27, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    There were a few comments on how I had chosen the wrong sentence types (simple, complex, compound-complex). Because of this, I’d like to review them either in class one more time, or further on my own. 
    I also plan to put more focus on keeping my writing active-tense, as past-tense seems to make the reviewing of literature more complicated. 

  9. Cedia Vicks
    February 28, 2019 at 11:39 pm

    The comments that seem to have come up the most were adding more detail, being more concise and letting my sentences flow. I always struggle with my introductory paragraph and thesis. Therefore, I notice when my thesis is not well developed it makes it harder for me to address everything within my paper in an organized matter. Now that I have written my paper and I have comments, it makes the process better. I will work on my papers day by day to make sure that I am not rushing and I am 100% satisfied before turning it in. I will also take the time to go to the writing lab and get more professional help. 

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