Let’s Get All Cohesive!

Comment below by revising the following passages to make them more cohesive:

  • The Gateway Arch at the edge of the Mississippi river in St. Louis is the world’s tallest monument. Eero Saarinen designed the stainless steel structure that commemorates the Westward Movement.
  • The relentless heat of California’s great Central Valley make the summer almost unbearable at times. Over 110˚ is not an unusual temperature reading from June through September. Bakersfield often records the hottest temperature in the valley.
  • The federal-witness protection service began in 1968. The U.S. Marshal Service directs the program. Over four thousand people have been relocated under the program. New identities are created for people in the program. The people are in extreme danger because they have testified against criminals.

Update

For Thursday, February 16, choose your favorite revisions for numbers two (Great Central Valley) and three (federal witness protection program) above, click on reply after that comment, and explain why you chose that revision is your favorite.

 

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